Jul 09, 2015 12:30 PM EDT
Intoxicated Man Gulps Down Tabasco: “I’m Thirsty”

Associated Press reports that in Berlin, an intoxicated 34-year old, stole a bicycle, zigzagged his way through the streets, threw it into a window, entered the restaurant and grabs a bottle of Tabasco, finished off half of it and told the arresting officer that he was thirsty.

No further explanation was given why he chose the pepper sauce.  Police hinted that the interloper may have mistaken it for a bottle of a popular German liqueur.  After downing half of the sauce, he said he wanted to sleep.

Sleep he got, spending the night in jail.

Tabasco is a hot sauce made from Tabasco pepper.  Its habanero sauce is the spiciest of all.   Perhaps the intoxicated hottie knew more than he let on.  Perhaps he knew hot sauce was actually good for his health:  it kills bacteria in the stomach that cause digestive and stomach disorders, it stimulates the stomach to produce more juices that protects it from acid, and that chili is a good source for vitamin c, which improves the immune system. 

If he was a health or nutrition buff, he would be glad to know that Tabasco contains zero calories and zero fat.  But only if it was the original Tabasco blend he chugged down. 

We can only hope the poor man did not have ulcers or an irritable stomach.  The Tabasco just might create havoc to his insides.  If your mouth gets too hot from the Tabasco, don't drink water.  Cool it off with a glass of milk.

To further speculate, over a hundred alcoholic mixes use Tabasco.  Maybe our guy chugged it down, intending to look for lemon juice, tomato juice, vodka and Worcestershire sauce.  Voila, it's a bloody Mary.  Cheers to the bobby police!

Ultimately, the best reason is that he knew all along that Tabasco contains capsaicin, a pain reliever, which is exactly what he needs for a hang-over.

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