Velveeta Launches New Hair Dye
Forget boring queso dip, cheesy tots, and shells and cheese. Earlier this week, Velveeta launched a daring new endeavor guaranteed to make you go "hmmmmm." The purveyors of the "velvety" cheese product (air quotes optional) are now vying for space not in your kitchen pantry but on your bathroom shelf.
Julia Fox is Goldie Locks
Introducing Velveeta Gold - a limited-edition, semi-permanent hair dye that boasts the same "iconic" (questionably neon) orangish-yellow hue as its cheese. To promote this culinary crossover, Velveeta has enlisted the help of actress Julia Fox, a woman known for her - shall we say - bold fashion choices. Fox was sighted sans pants, rocking Velveeta sunshine-orange pin curls, and donning a white faux fur coat courtside (swapped out from a Big-Bird-esque version outside the arena) last Sunday at a New York Knicks game.
La Dolce Velveeta
Velveeta waxes poetic about Fox's "daring and different" styles, noting that she embodies their "La Dolce Velveeta" mindset. Fox herself adds that Velveeta's message of - whatever Velveeta's message is - resonated with her because she loves "going all in" for the things she loves, like pasta and cheese. Honey, I love me some carbs and an artificially flavored cheese situation as much as the next girl, but Velveeta hair dye? Someone call Draft Kings to see if we can get a prop bet on whether or not Fox's hair is still this color the next time she's spotted at a game. I'll wager a "no" for the remainder of the season.
For a mere $7.50 (the price of a Velveeta cheese loaf, because, of course, it is), you can get your hands on a four-ounce jar of Velveeta Gold on Amazon. Kraft Heinz (exactly who I want to be taking hair care advice from) assures us this is enough to dye a head of short hair. Just slather it on your dry locks, let it sit for 20 minutes, and rinse thoroughly. Hopefully, the sunny hue fades faster than your dream of achieving Julia Fox-level confidence from a jar.
